


MAGUS

by WingKalas



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24836341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WingKalas/pseuds/WingKalas
Summary: Summer is coming, and Merlin wants to show off! But did he really have to steal Waver's credit card? And why does he feel so empty whenever he streams as Magi Mari?
Kudos: 17





	MAGUS

Stretching his arms as he rose from his slumber, Merlin gave a rather loud yawn as he looked around his room in Chaldea, looking at his setup for when he would become his online idol persona, Magi Mari, sighing as he realized that the user most excited for her shows at Chaldea was no longer in existence.  
“Solomon...did you truly believe that being a human was better than being a god...?”, the magus wondered to himself, removing his blankets and stepping into his normal attire, his white robe freshly bleached and washed by Emiya, the helpful young man he was, despite being possessed by a Heroic Spirit. It was enough to make an old man such as himself smile, knowing that there were people such as the Archer around.  
  
His attention turned to the door as it slid open by itself, a small but fluffy white creature no larger than a squirrel came waltzing into his room, a sigh coming from Merlin's mouth.  
“Cath Palug, we've _talked about_ _this-_ ”  
“Fou.”  
“Yes, I _know_ it's two o'clock in the afternoon, thank you for making me realize!”  
“Fou.”  
“ _Yes that was sarcasm you furry pain in the neck!_ ”  
“Fou!”  
Ugh. It was no use; no matter how Merlin deflected the fact that he had slept through another day of helping with chores, Fou continued chastising the flower mage in his usual animal tone, staring directly at Merlin with his bluish-purple eyes, mysticism and power behind them that had all but been replaced by a basic animal instinct for one thing and one thing only: _annoy Merlin into being productive_.  
“Alright, alright, I'll be out momentarily...geez, you'd figure a half-incubus who crossdresses for a living to get money from random people on the internet to help keep this place afloat would be _appreciated_ more.”  
“Fou.”  
“ _Cath Palug I swear to God I will make you into a furry pair of gloves if you say another word!_ ”  
“Fou.”  
“Gaaaah!”

Heading into the dining hall of Chaldea, the Master of Chaldea who had saved humanity from its incineration was chatting with Mash and Da Vinci about the feeling of reaching the end of their journey and making it into the new year, the busty Caster the first to notice Merlin's presence. “Ah, seems Fou finally roused you from your sleep.”  
“I had a very late stream last night, be quiet, Da Vinci,” he replied, sighing as Fou leapt up onto Mash's shoulder, the bespectacled young woman petting the creature.  
“Oh, were you busy streaming Minecraft again?”, Da Vinci teased, to which Merlin replied, “That was _one time_ , back before I was needed as much as I am now! Why is it that every time my streaming becomes a topic, you always talk about my Minecraft meme stream?!!”  
“Because seeing you in that costume while playing it is just so cute~! Though I may never understand why Romani enjoyed watching you-”  
“It doesn't matter, what did you rouse me from my _necessary beauty sleep_ to talk to me about?”, he asks, somewhat more sharply than he had intended, but it was necessary to get Da Vinci to stop ragging on his current career.  
“Well, simply put, we're giving you, as well as the rest of the Servants of Chaldea, Mash, and the Master a trip to a sunny resort so we may thank you all before we unsummon you all.”  
  
“W-wait, you're going to unsummon all of us...?”, Merlin asks, blinking a couple of times.  
“Well, yes. The Incineration of Humanity is no longer a threat, therefore we need to return to simply monitoring the time flow, and seeing as a lot of the things we've done here hasn't exactly been _legal_ , despite the necessity, we need to make sure that everything is as untraceable as it's legally allowed.”  
“Hmmm...sounds fake, but ok,” Merlin says, nodding. “So, uh...when are we going to the beach? I can finally show off the costume DW has been keeping a secret from the players for so long!”  
“No unofficial costumes, Merlin! We don't need to have you skinnydipping in front of everyone and scarring the children,” Da Vinci warned, Merlin reaching into his robe and pulling out a pair of sweet shades.  
“Don't worry, Da Vinci, I was thinking more _classic_ Merlin.”  
  
“ _Where in the gods damn is my Bermuda costume?!!_ ”, Merlin cried out minutes later, throwing stuff into a pile on the floor of his room while Fou watched from the bed, Merlin emerging from his closet with his sunglasses askew. “I can't be seen in the sun without my costume! Look at me, Cath Palug! I'm pasty white! Do you know what's going to happen to me if I go out there in the summer sun?!!”  
“Fou.”  
“ _Like a candle!_ ”, he replies, sitting on the floor and lying on the pile of stuff before thinking to himself and beginning to throw it all back in. “I suppose that I could... _buy_ another outfit, so long as I ask my good pal Waver~”  
  
“No.”  
“I haven't even asked yet, man!”, Merlin cries out as he steps into the Servant designated smoking area, Dantes and Jalter also seeming to be taking a break nearby. “Come on, please? I promise I'll pay you back!”  
“You said that last time too, and the time before that, and the time before _that_ . Not to mention that you have no taste in clothes, aside from your usual outfit.”  
“What's wrong with a Gucci suit? You're wearing Gucci right now!”  
“Yeah, and it cost me about 10k to buy, I'm still paying that off, so _no_ , you can't borrow my card!”  
“But what about-” Merlin pauses, pulling a credit card out from his sleeve, “ _Your second card~?_ ”  
“I don't have a se-Merlin. _Merlin. Did you open up a second credit card account in my name...?_ ”  
“...possibly.”  
“How much have you bought?”  
“...I maxed it out on day one-”  
“ _how much._ ”  
“Uh...10k...?”  
Waver puts his cigarette out and sighs, placing his hands in his pockets before walking away, the other two smoking Servants looking on as this happens.  
“ _So is that a no...?_ ”  
  
“Why are you requesting my help, mongrel?”  
“Well, ya see, I figure if I could borrow one of your treasures, then I could-”  
Gilgamesh interrupts Merlin with a loud, raucous laugh, his head leaning back as he roars with laughter, tears streaming down his face before he looks at Merlin once again. “You _can't_ be serious, magus.”  
“But I _am_ , Your Majesty; if I had just _one_ of your many treasures, then I could simply-”  
“I refuse.”  
“But-but you have so _many_ , don't you think that-”  
“No, I don't, Merlin. I don't think that I should help one single mongrel by giving away one of _my_ treasures to sell online for some quick cash in order to repay a debt that you yourself obtained! Now get out of my sight, mongrel, before I change my mind and do something worse to you!”  
“Of course, Lord Gilgamesh, praise be to Gilgamesh,” he said, quickly exiting the room as the King of Uruk sighed. “That mage is a real pain in the ass sometimes...”

“Ah man...how am I supposed to pay Zhuge back and get my outfit together before the summer trip...?”, he thinks aloud, walking back to his room after two failed attempts at persuasion. “Hmmm...could I stream and make it back? Nah, eighty percent of it goes to Chaldea, and the rest goes straight into the stream...however... _hmmm_...”

If only Romani were still here, then maybe, just maybe...he could reenact _that_ time.  
  
The Master happened to be walking past Merlin's room when they looked inside and saw Merlin putting his Magi Mari costume on, thinking to themselves that it was a good thing that Romani never found out about Merlin's camgirl habit; it surely would have made him regret wanting to save humanity.  
“Ah, Master~! Thank goodness you're here; could you help me w-”  
“I refuse. Politely, mind you,” he says, a look that says that he does not approve of what is about to happen on the Chaldeanet.  
“Pleaaaaaaaaaaase, Master, you're my only hope and I neeeeeeeeeed you to help me, it's urgent!!!”, the magus begged, grabbing onto his Master's leg and getting dragged along the floor as he tried to walk away with the pleading magus being dragged behind him along the pristine halls of Chaldea.  
Eventually, with a loud sigh, the Master picked Merlin up by the collar like a cat, his face much like a cat would be emoting when it was being mischievous, and he says, “Fine, Merlin. What do you want me to do?”

Sitting down to watch Magi Mari's stream, Dr. Romani waited excitedly in front of his screen for his beloved idol. It was the highlight of his week, and during the budget balancing he made sure to put aside some money (that he pleaded with Da Vinci to give him) in order to donate to Magi Mari.  
She was a few minutes late, but soon enough the stream started. “Hello, dear viewers! Magi Mari here, with another delightful stream for you to enjoy! And with me today is a very special guest, all the way from the Chaldea Foundation!”  
Romani felt his blood run cold. Chaldea? Magi Mari knew someone from Chaldea? But who could-  
As soon as the Master appeared upon the screen, Romani felt his eyes bulging out of his head as he placed his head in his hands. How? How did this happen? How did he get on the stream with Magi Mari, idol supreme, _and not tell him?!!_ This was absurd! Romani was Mari's number one fan! The Master had never even watched the idol's streams, that he knew of. At least, the records on the Chaldeanet didn't show anything; if anyone was to worry about, it was Merlin and his using Waver's credit card to order things that he would have to either return or pay back in full eventually.  
The doctor shook his head. Focus! He had to focus! Magi Mari had a Master of Chaldea on the air, and he wasn't even listening to what was happening!  
  
“So, do you have anything to say to my lovely followers?”, the mage idol smiled at the Master, giggling slightly.  
“Uh, yes, I do, actually,” he replied, looking into the camera. “Doctor Romani, if you're watching this, I just need you to know that Magi Mari is keeping me safe, and that I'll be back in Chaldea soon. Also, to the rest of you, please donate to Magi Mari, as she is in dire need of funding in order to keep the stream running.”  
Ah, the donation segment! Of course, Mari would never have a guest on unless it was important, or to mix things up when- wait. He specifically asked for Romani to donate, out of everyone. Then again, it was no secret that he was a top donor...but still, something felt off. He typed into the chat, asking, “why did you ask for me to donate specifically Mari?”  
“Oh! biggestmarifan just asked me a question!”, the streamer said excitedly, looking at the camera in order to answer. “I'm a big fan of you, much like you're a big fan of me, and I asked if there was anyone in Chaldea who was a fan of mine, and he mentioned you. So I asked him to mention your name to get your attention, hehe~”  
Huh. That made sense. Shrugging, the doctor sent a donation of $200 Mari's way, with the note, “thank you for streaming, I hope you can do it for a long time.”  
  
Eventually, the stream ended, and Magi Mari was no longer on the air. Merlin, slumping against his computer chair (which he had ordered on the card that he had gotten in Waver's name), got up and began removing the costume, hanging it up in his closet and emailing the Master himself.  
“Thank you for your help today, Master. It was greatly appreciated. Feel free to summon me whenever you require my help; I am in your debt. Merlin”  
And with that, he hit _Send_ and sat in his room, getting out of the chair and stretching his limbs, his back turned to the door when he heard it slide open automatically.  
“Hey, Merlin, I need to ask y-”  
Ishtar's voice stopped as she noticed the surprisingly buff magus in nothing but his novelty boxer shorts, which have “women want me, Solomon fears me”, written all over them in Comic Sans, her face becoming a slight blush as he turns around to look at the Babylonian goddess with a slight smile.  
“Ah, flustered are we? What's the matter, am I seducing you?”  
“Pfft, you _wish_ , magus,” she replies, pouting and looking away as Merlin leaned against the wall coolly, brushing a hand along his gelled hair. “What's the matter, Goddess Ishtar? Are you finding me...irresistible _~?_ ”  
The sound of her energy blast exploded against the wall and next to his chest, making the magus jump slightly. “Jesus, woman, it was a joke!”  
“Good, keep them to yourself,” she said, sighing before pulling her hand back. “I just came by because Gilgamesh sent me here.”  
“Ah, he agreed to help me after all?”  
“No. He sent me to help you, though.”  
“And how would a goddess such as yourself help me, exactly? Have you not entertained the thought that he simply asked you to help me to get you out of his hair?”  
Ishtar had no response for that, and the two stood in silence for a minute.  
“Would you like to come in?”  
“I would not.”  
  
Shuddering slightly as he remembered how quickly Ishtar had tried to obliterate him, Merlin returned to thinking of how to make the money he used to, donning his Magi Mari moniker and beginning his latest stream.  
About an hour in, he noticed a message from biggestmarifan, which made him stop for just a moment.  
“Romani...?”, he said aloud, reading the message to himself, the text on his screen simply reading, “Hey Magi Mari, Uomo Universal here, meet me outside when you're done, we need to talk. ”  
Sighing, he chuckled slightly. “Sorry about that, folks, thought I saw a name I hadn't seen here in...a while.”  
Citing that he wasn't feeling well that day, Magi Mari went off the air about an hour earlier than normal, the magus thinking of Solomon and how, despite everything, Romani and Solomon-no, Goetia, it was Goetia-were two similar, yet different people, and...Merlin knew that he respected Romani for certain.  
He started laughing to himself slightly. What an idiot he was, thinking about Romani now, of all times. Getting out of his chair, he decided to start undressing and get back into his normal robes, though the door opened before he could quite get into them.  
“Are you alright, Merlin?”, Da Vinci asked, seemingly concerned. “It's not like you to end a stream early.”  
Merlin licked his lips before speaking. “I...I don't know. I saw that username come up, and...I thought about...him...”  
The busty Caster grimaced slightly, looking at the floor before asking, “May I come in?”  
“You may, Acting Director Da Vinci.”  
“Well, I'm not _quite_ Acting Director, though I suppose over the last year I have been acting as Olga would, haven't I?”  
The magus nods, buttoning his robes up and turning around to find Da Vinci holding onto his summer outfit, blinking twice before slowly taking it from her. “Where...did you get this...?”  
“Waver had it. Said you ordered it on his credit card, and that you're paying him back. Let me take care of it; it's the least I can do for the streamer that made Romani's days all the more bearable.”  
Merlin looked at the woman as she smiled at him before turning around and walking out, the door sliding closed behind her.  
“...thank you, Uomo Universal.”  
  
Resting on the beach a week later, slathering SPF 60 upon his skin, Merlin lay on his front as he watched the other Servants run around upon the beach, not a single care in the world. Was he the only one who knew that they would all be unsummoned? Only time would tell, he figured; after all, Waver had sent him a message saying that Da Vinci had explained the situation to him, and that he no longer needed to repay the debt he owed, though he still didn't trust Merlin, which was fine with him.  
Lying on the beach, the sun shining down on the Servants as they splashed in the water and played with one another, Merlin wondered where Romani was, and if he'd ever see the man again. After all, he did slightly regret never mentioning to him that he was, in fact, Magi Mari, though he wasn't sure if Romani would have believed it. In any case, the half-incubus simply soaked up the sun and basked in it, grateful for the time that he had been given by the Master of Chaldea and Romani himself.  
A thought occurred to Merlin, but he brushed it off, saying to himself, “Did I love Romani? Don't be ridiculous; incubi can't fall in love! Be realistic, brain! But most of all, look at all these babes in bikinis~ ooh, delightful, ahuhu; I'm sad Romani couldn't be here, but oh well, more fun in the sun for me, I guess!”  
  
It was just another day for Chaldea, and he was a somewhat terrible, if not emotional, magus.


End file.
